Digging deep… into my thigh.

I’m on vacation, so today I went and got a one-hour massage at Massage Envy. I’ve had quite a few massages in the past, but it’s been about a year. And it’s been a rough year for my body. I’ve been seeing a chiropractor at least once a week to fix my hips, back, legs, and everything else that is messed up for no reason whatsoever.

Every time I get a massage I always get the same line. They start to work out the knots and abnormalities and they always say something like, “Whoa, that’s weird. How long has it been like this?” or maybe “So when did you dislocate your shoulder?” which was never. I feel like a freak every time I get worked on. Kinda like this…

Today I decided that I really wanted them to give me my money’s worth, so I checked a box that I’ve never checked before:


I’m sitting here, a few hours later, and I am EXHAUSTED. I got beat down by the massage therapist Greg. Don’t let anyone tell you that dudes that work at massage place are wimps. That dude was a ninja. He hit something in my leg, the flux capacitor or something, and I jumped like a shark in a row boat.

I squirmed and squealed for most of it. Honestly, I really didn’t enjoy it, in fact I hated it…  but I knew I needed it. A Swedish massage would have been shooting a squirt gun at a forest fire.

Have you endured this “deep tissue” punishment before?

Oh, and one more question…

Do you prefer to get a massage from the same sex or the opposite?