wrestling

I’m not sure what to do with the discontentment I’m dealing with. I don’t want to call it discontentment because, well… I’m HAPPY, but no other word seems to fit.

I love my wife, I love my job, I love my friends… but I’m constantly burdened by something I can’t put my finger on.

I couldn’t care less about most of the nonsense that most people get excited about. I just don’t care about money or houses or cars or my reputation or any of that garbage.

I don’t want to be Rob Bell. I’m definitely not Dane Cook. There are probably a million better husbands than me. And my youth group isn’t the biggest one in the neighborhood.

But I  love God. I love to read and learn and sit quietly enjoying what I assume to be God’s presence.

But I hate how much hurt there is in the world.I just can’t ignore it. And I’m not doing much about it.

I have a hard time focusing on anything else when there’s so much hurt, and hunger, and thirst, and brokenness in the world.

I’m convinced that high school students can flip the world upside down. I love watching God take over in the life of a teenager who has said YES to a surrendered life. I don’t want to settle or short-sell my students or myself. I’m a high school pastor because I believe these things, and I feel God pulling me towards these kids.

I feel like maybe my dreams have been too small, so… I need my imagination back.

Planned Parenthood

A 20-year-old UCLA student (who is also the president of a pro-life club at the university) went undercover as a pregnant 13-year-old to a Planned Parenthood location in Bloomington, Indiana. Check out the story at Fox News, and watch the video below.

Much like I don’t want to be painted with the same brush as every other pastor out there who makes a mistake, I think it’s fair to say that not every Planned Parenthood employee is this twisted.

What was her motivation to lie? Why was she willing to compromise so much and risk her job to end the patient’s pregnancy? Did she really feel like she was helping her?

ht: nasolas

going home again

Lindsay and I spent last week with some family in Arizona. (I’m writing this just a couple hours after returning home, so I haven’t really even had a chance to process all of the things bouncing around in my head. So I’ll just start typing and see what comes out.)

First: a little bit of context— I have had a ridiculous transformation take place in my life over the past eight years or so. Anyone who knows me has heard something about my colorful past, and knows that along the way everything changed for me. I am in no way the same person I was when I was 21, and I can safely say that it has very little to do with the natural effects of maturing as you get older (hold the jokes for a sec). It was Jesus.

That’s my story. I had my heart and soul ripped out and replaced by Jesus. No other explanation makes sense. THAT explanation doesn’t even make sense, but it’s the only one I’ve got.

My story, my life and specifically my job as a pastor has become (in my mind) a huge pink elephant in the room when my family gets together. Aside from one set of cousins and their kids, nobody is on board with Jesus in my family. Nobody is hostile or rude. Everybody is polite… but sometimes it is just weird in the room. And I don’t get it…

It’s so hard to live this life, this new life, in the context of my family. Even Jesus had a hard time in this context, so I’m in good company I guess. The weird thing is that everyone has seen the change, but I have no idea what any of them think about it because nobody talks about it.

What I’m struggling with is this: It is so much easier to be a pastor with friends, students, or even with complete strangers for that matter, than it is to be one with my aunts, uncles, or cousins who have known me my whole life.

People who have known me for 5 months know me better than most of my family who has known me for 30 years.

There’s a lot more to this, but is what I’m saying making sense to anyone out there?

kudos to Wal-Mart

I don’t usually read “The New York Times“, but I did stumble across this article this morning.

Wal-Mart has donated 90 million pounds of fresh food to Feeding America, which is the nation’s largest non-profit organization addressing hunger. The cool part is that it sounds like its not just a one time donation, but instead will be an annual one. And the even cooler part, in my opinion, is that Wal-Mart will be refusing the tax deduction. I think that’s why the amount was given in pounds versus dollar value.

Where you at K-Mart?