Leaving

I didn’t know it would be this difficult to leave Arizona. I knew we would miss our friends and family and church, but I underestimated it. Perhaps I minimized it, since we were moving to a Chicago suburb, and not some remote village in the middle of nowhere. But man, this has been hard.

I’m on a plane right now heading home from speaking at Mission for the second time since we left. The first trip felt like a mini reunion, but this trip felt like a massive reminder of what we had- the best friends we’ll probably ever have, and a church family that truly loves and cares for my family. 

I prepared myself for the move mostly by reminding myself that this is very much what missionaries are called to- building and leaving, building and leaving, building and leaving. This is very New Testament/Great Commission/Way of Jesus/Way of Paul stuff. I’m not putting myself on their level, I’m simply saying that coming and going are a part of this life. 

That doesn’t make it any easier. 

Moving to Chicago in the Winter doesn’t help either. We went from the MOST connected we’ve ever been in a church to the LEAST connected we’ve ever been. We moved from a house that we LOVED to a house that, well, it’s just not a fair comparison. We’re grateful for it all, but still, it’s been rough. 

The hardest part of the whole thing is how hard it’s been on Lindsay. I get to leave and go dig into some incredibly challenging and meaningful work five days a week- while she’s at home, in the new home, with the kids and their new (terrible) school schedules. 

This isn’t the first big challenge we’ve faced in marriage, and I doubt it’ll be the last, but we’re digging in and moving forward. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t imagined a magical rewind button, but those are my weakest moments. 

I’m honored to serve these kids in this church, they’re worth all of this. They better change the freaking world.