the stinky kid in class

ryan guardWanna hear something sad?

In the 4th grade I was the stinky kid in class.

But Ryan, you smell so nice now. How were you ever the stinky kid?”

I’m glad you asked.

You see, my dad lost his job that year so we had to move in with his sister. At that time there were five people living in that two-bedroom house (not including my dad, my brother, and me who were about to move in).

But the stinky part wasn’t because there were so many people.

There were something like 27 cats and 17 dogs that also lived in that house. No lie. Oh and a bird, a turtle, and lots of mice. I accidentally murdered that bird, but that’s a story for another post. Actually no, it’s kinda funny so here we go:

I was in charge of talking to the bird for like 5 days while my aunt was out of town… it needed company or it got lonely. She was convinced it would die if it wasn’t talked to. This pigeon (yep… a pet pigeon) got SO EXCITED every time I went in there!! It would start freaking out and flying around it’s little cage. I kinda forgot to go in and talk to it for a couple of days and… I went in to say hello a few days later and right when I opened the door to the laundry room where it lived it started flapping its wings frantically- and then I think it had a seizure because it just dropped dead onto the bottom of the cage. OOPS!

But anyways, there wasn’t a shower in the house, just a bathtub… but the tub was usually clogged up because of the cat/dog/people hair.

So I went to school and stunk. There was nothing I could do about it. I considered showing up early to class and spraying Lysol above my head before everyone got there. Seriously.

They signed me up for the special hygiene class. I would go to the nurse and she’d teach like six of us how to use a toothbrush or put on deodorant. It was no use explaing to her that I brushed my teeth every day AND wore deodorant.

We eventually moved out of that house and everything turned out ok. I would drench myself with Obsession and Cool Water cologne like every other dork so I could fit in.

What kind of baggage do you have? What deep, dark secrets from your past do you need to air out? Were you the stinky kid too? Did you eat your boogies?

Let it out in the comments. Free therapy 🙂

9 thoughts on “the stinky kid in class”

  1. I did eat my boogers for a long time.
    My confession would be that we were the poor kids. My dad left us when I was about 18 months old so my mom took us to live with my grandma. I think my grandma and I shared a room till I was about 5. It was hard being the poor kid. We always had clothes and food but there were times that I just wish I had a nice house like the other kids.
    I also wished that I had a dad…

  2. Neal thanks for sharing that. Sounds like we have a couple things in common.

    Tyler thanks for sharing that. Sounds like we have nothing in common at all, I swear. I always flick.

  3. Sadly, I am the “stinky” kid in school right now.
    I’m going to a new school this year. I started off being cute, shy, and a nice girl. I KNOW guys liked me.
    Then after four months (Right around my 13th birthday) I started to smell. I started to use deodrant. Kids ridiculed me.
    Now it’s six months later. I use deodrant frequently through the day and I shower twice a day. I use mutiple body sprays and what not, but still I remain the “stinky” kid.

  4. I stumbled upon this while searching for advice on what to do about the student in my class that has a hygiene problem. He’s too young for it to be puberty so I’m taking it there’s an issue at home but have never been able to get ahold of any parents to find out exactly what his situation is. I’ve been avoiding pulling him aside and having the conversation because I don’t want to embarrass the poor kid (you’ll never forget your third-grade teacher telling you you smell bad) but I’m concerned that it’s distracting to his classmates. I’ve spent alot of time around people who aren’t concerned with bathing so people stink doesn’t bother me as much as it does others but other teachers have mentioned it so I’m feeling obligated to say something.
    I think I’ve decided to do a health lesson on the history of soap and why we use it in hopes that if there’s anything he can control, it’ll prompt him to do so and then take it from there if it continues to be a problem or if other students complain.
    Thanks for posting this!

    Jenny-if you have access to a doctor, you may want to ask her/him for some advice. It sounds like you’re doing alot to try and control the situation. I take liquid chlorophyll daily for health reasons but it also takes away any body odor I may have. Maybe that would help. You can find it at any health food store in your area.

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