Ryan Guard

Getting What You Deserve

I live near one of the worst intersections on the planet, Higley & Warner in Gilbert, Arizona. I approach that intersection fully convinced that everyone approaching it wants to kill me. I’ve been cut off, swerved around and almost t-boned a thousand times at that crossing. I usually show them THE WRATH OF RYAN by glaring up and them (it’s always up because of my Honda Civic).

One guy ran a red light the other day doing about 60mph… he wasn’t paying attention, probably Tweeting about how awesome he is, and he slammed his breaks about 5 seconds too late. If we hadn’t slammed our breaks we might be dead. I wanted to chase him down, but Lindsay and Griffin were in the car… oh, and I’m a pastor.

But that’s what I should do next time it happens. The next time I’m cut off I should follow the guy home, wait until he go inside, walk over to his car…. and wash it. Yep, wash it. If he leaves the door open I should vacuum and Fabreze the inside.

Then I’ll probably pull some weeds and mow his front yard, maybe paint his house, prune his trees and wash his windows. I may ask if I can run and get him and his family some dinner, which I’ll pay for. If the guy has kids, I’ll offer to pay for their college educations at any school they’d like. If he needs a kidney transplant I’ve got good news: I have two kidneys!

How absolutely ridiculous would that response be? Nobody would ever do that. They’d chase that guy down and beat him mercilessly, right? If they waited until he went inside it would only be so that they could slash his tires and throw a brick through his living room window.

How absolutely ridiculous is it that God’s response to my intentional betrayal is forgiveness and invitation?! How completely ridiculous is it that every time I sin, his grace abounds even more (Romans 5:20)? His response to my sin is more and more grace and generosity.

As ridiculous as that sounds, it’s the story we live in.

How could I follow that man home and hurt him when I have committed infinitely worse crimes against a perfect God, who responded by hanging on a cross to display his unlimited mercy and generosity for us?

Remember that the next time you’re cut off in traffic.

Halloween by the Numbers

Halloween is right around the corner! Lindsay and I love Halloween, especially now that we have a little creature we can dress up! Griffin’s gonna be the cutest pumpkin the world has ever seen. Oh, and when else do people in Arizona actually go outside and talk to their neighbors?! Once a year.

Here are some interesting facts about Halloween, courtesy of the US Census Bureau among others:

• There are 41,000,000 kids between the ages of 5 & 14 in the U.S. That’s a lot of trick-or-treaters! You better get an extra bag of candy.
• Americans spend about $2,000,000,000 on candy for Halloween each year.
• American adults will spend about $2,500,000,000 on costumes this year.
• Those same adults will spend about $1,000,000,000 on costumes for their kids.
• $310,000,000 more will be spent on costumes for their pets.
• The average American eats 1.2lbs of candy on Halloween. That’s 33 fun-size Snickers or 280 M&M’s.

Have a good time out there! Friendly reminder to all of the ladies: MODEST IS THE HOTTEST!

Jesus the Drunkard

All of us care about what other people think about us. When I know that someone believes something about me that’s untrue it drives me nuts. I will do whatever I can to make sure that they know the truth about me. Other people’s opinions matter to me, sometimes to a fault.

I read this text recently from the book of Matthew: “The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax-collectors and “sinners.”’ But wisdom is proved right by her actions.” -Matt 11:19

The public opinion about Jesus was that he was a gluttonous drunk who liked to hang out with dirtbags. The part about the dirtbags was true, which is good news for me (and you). But this text gave me a sigh of relief that even Jesus was misunderstood and labeled.

You and I are defined by so much more than the opinions of others.